Wednesday, November 07, 2007

The reality of it all.

I have decided that I need to be very real and raw with you all. There is no point in hiding our struggles. And by me sharing a little of them with you all, I know that I will gain support and prayers--and that is exactly what we need right now. So, let's be real.

The reality of life is that Matt & I are miserable. Our job is seriously eating at our souls. We are exhausted and burnt out and it is effecting us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We feel as if we are treading water every day and desperately gasping for any air that we can get. We feel like we are trying our best to do our job and our best is not adding up to anything.

I do not know what this means for us. I don't know what our future holds. I do know that we love this city and want to be here. And we thank God for this opportunity to serve.

Once again, I am asking for your prayers. God is the only one who can bring us through this. Pray that we will get the rest we need. Pray that we will be able to take control of our house and maintain consistency with the girls. And pray that we will find joy in our lives here.

The past few days, I have been very encouraged by two songs--"Hallelujah" by Bethany Dillon and "When the Saints" by Sara Groves. I am so thankful that God reminds us of His faithfulness through songs. Here are some of the lyrics that have especially meant a lot to me.

"Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
Help me to sing hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
I'll choose to sing hallelujah"
-Bethany Dillon

"and when i'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought
i think of paul and silas in the prison yard
i hear their song of freedom rising to the stars
and when the Saints go marching in
i want to be one of them
lord it's all that i can't carry and cannot leave behind
it all can overwhelm me
but when i think of all who've gone before and lived a faithful life
their courage compels me"
-Sara Groves


Laura Ashley said...


I am excited about seeing you this Saturday. I will be praying for you and Matt. I know how you feel. Last year I was working at a school that felt like hell on Earth. It was physically and emotionally draining, but because of my experience I feel so equipped as a teacher now. Sometimes God brings us through hard trials and tribulations, but then when we look back in retrospect we can see his sovereignty and grace and why he placed us in those situations. I will pray for you to have peace because I know it is so hard. I've been there. See you at the wedding.



The Beasleys said...

I will keep you guys in my prayers. I can not wait to see you guys it has been too long. Laura is right though, God will bring you through this because he has you in that house for a reason. I know you guys can do it. Maybe this break will help you guys. We love you and will see you maybe tomorrow :) :) :)

Blissful Life said...

It breaks my heart that you are having these struggles, but the first year will be your toughest. You know that I went through a similar experience (like Laura) last year. I knew that my heart belonged to the job and I longed to do what I was doing, but it was so emotionally draining that I doubted if I was really where God wanted me to be. My advice is to hang in there and give it time and see if current experiences will make future experiences easier. This book/bible study might help you get through it: A Martha heart, in a Mary World. There were times that it seemed to coincidental that it fit where I was. Know that you and Matt are always in our hearts and prayers. Ok, now I'm going to stop, b/c I'm crying. You'll get through it!! I love you!

Shelly said...

very seriously praying for you guys! and ditto to the comments above. i know you guys feel this is where you should be and i pray that God brings peace and joy to you in NOLA!

Ashley said...

praying for you....

see you at thanksgiving?

Paul said...

Just letting you guys know that getting to see you both this past weekend felt great for Kelly and myself. We are keeping you both in our prayers. I know things may seem tough at times, but the greatest and hardest part of life is actually living it. Standing on the top of a mountain is only special because of the effort it took to take you there. Think of all of the tough accomplishments I know you both have struggled through. I have always admired that about you both.

To Sarah, I never knew how much you meant in our lives. Your bond with Kelly is so strong that I can feel her spirits lift when she thinks of you.

To Matt, I will never forget the day I asked you to be my 'brother.' I rember thinking of it as a fun joke, but as time went on I realized how much like bothers we had become over the past year.

We will be fervently praying for you both! Keep climbing the mountain, no matter how tough. We will both be there to support you, all you ever need to do is call or write.

Love Paul