I have decided that I need to be very real and raw with you all. There is no point in hiding our struggles. And by me sharing a little of them with you all, I know that I will gain support and prayers--and that is exactly what we need right now. So, let's be real.
The reality of life is that Matt & I are miserable. Our job is seriously eating at our souls. We are exhausted and burnt out and it is effecting us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We feel as if we are treading water every day and desperately gasping for any air that we can get. We feel like we are trying our best to do our job and our best is not adding up to anything.
I do not know what this means for us. I don't know what our future holds. I do know that we love this city and want to be here. And we thank God for this opportunity to serve.
Once again, I am asking for your prayers. God is the only one who can bring us through this. Pray that we will get the rest we need. Pray that we will be able to take control of our house and maintain consistency with the girls. And pray that we will find joy in our lives here.
The past few days, I have been very encouraged by two songs--"Hallelujah" by Bethany Dillon and "When the Saints" by Sara Groves. I am so thankful that God reminds us of His faithfulness through songs. Here are some of the lyrics that have especially meant a lot to me.
"Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
Help me to sing hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
I'll choose to sing hallelujah"
-Bethany Dillon
"and when i'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought
i think of paul and silas in the prison yard
i hear their song of freedom rising to the stars
and when the Saints go marching in
i want to be one of them
lord it's all that i can't carry and cannot leave behind
it all can overwhelm me
but when i think of all who've gone before and lived a faithful life
their courage compels me"
-Sara Groves
